It is not so long ago that men and women were still living accordingly the traditional role models. Men were the bread-earners and women the housewives. Just exactly like our ancestors from millions and millions of years ago when we were still living in caves. Men would go hunting and women would stay in the cave with the children and taking care of the home. They would mingle with all the other women, going to the nearby forest and gathering berries and mushrooms. Equal among themselves they would support each other, make decisions together inside the group, and share duties and rights fairly. It was important for them to be strong as a group in order to protect themselves from enemies.
Men would organize themselves hierarchically. They would choose a leader according to his strengths—the alpha animal—and follow him and his decisions. Having one decision-maker only was crucial for their hunting success. When they spotted an animal they wouldn’t have time to discuss the best-attacking strategy. They needed to act immediately. They needed one leader whose decisions they would follow.
And these characteristics we still find in us today. Women are more group-oriented, men more hierarchically oriented. Of course, we are talking here in very generic terms. We mustn’t forget that there are always exceptions. But on average it is true that women are more social and cooperative and men more individual fighters and competitive.
This is also proven in studies in which groups of young teenage boys and groups of young teenage girls were observed when they attempt to find their way out of a maze. A group of boys generally establishes a hierarchy or chain of command with a leader who emerges on his own or through demonstrations of ability and power. Boys explore the maze using scouts while remaining in distant proximity to each other. Groups of girls tend to explore the maze together as a group without establishing a clear or dominant leader. Relationships tend to be co-equal. Girls tend to elicit discussion and employ “collective intelligence” to the task of discovering a way out. Girls tend to work their way through the maze as a group. Boys tend to search and explore using structured links and a chain of command.
Now, having these differences in mind what does it mean for the business world? As men started hundreds of years ago to build the business world from today we find of course the structures that serve them best. Hierarchies. The first businessmen applied the rules that they felt most comfortable with. Meaning they took care that there was one leader—the decision-maker—the alpha animal, and underneath the other positions that would indicate different status inside the company. And this environment worked very well with them as the business world consisted purely of men.
But then women started to enter the business world and for us, this environment is not so easy to handle. Of course, nowadays the traditional structures changed in several companies towards shallower hierarchies and matrix organizations. We don’t find only hierarchies anymore. But nevertheless, for us working inside sectors that are still male-dominated and hierarchically organized and therewith highly competitive can be challenging.
So in order to win the game we have to learn to play the game with their rules. It is like poker: If everybody plays accordingly to the rules but you, the others will always win.
Article originally published in 2010.
